LADY AT THE BAT: Summer Saturday Ladybugs

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Summer Saturday Ladybugs

Good morning Mr (Josh) Phelps. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to play for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Your .263 avg with 2 HR, 12 RBIs in 36 games for the Yankees makes you the perfect choice to grab the reins of leadership for the Bucs. However, watch out for those NL catchers, who will be on the lookout for you as you barrel your way across home plate. Beware of your new teammate, Masumi Kuwata, who'll be looking to get back at you for your dirty play against his countryman, Kenji Johjima. If you are up for this assignment it could prove to be very lucrative. Thank you, Mr Phelps. (This computer will self-destruct if you really read this post.)

Tom Glavine, you just won your 296th game. What are you going to do now? Disneyland?No, that's for when you get your 300th win! Cheer up, you have only four more wins to go. At the rate you're going, though, it will be next season before that happens.

Welcome home, Ken Griffey, Jr. Fans at Seattle's Safeco Field welcomed you with open arms, last night. You were overcome, saying, "I spent 11 years here, 11 wonderful years. I met my beautiful wife here and two of my three kids were born here..." Three kids? Does that include the one you had before you met your wife?

See, Elijah Dukes? You're not the only baby daddy in baseball. Unfortunately however, you seem to be the only one with five kids. The Devil Rays have put you on their inactive list. Let's hope "inactive" means more to you now than just not playing baseball.

So, A-Rod, you're not going to be in the Home Run Derby this year? You're not good at it, you say? Well, that's okay by me. In fact, I wouldn't care if you ever appeared in another HR Derby, ever again, as long as one day you surpass Barry Bonds as the all-time home run hitter. This year you'll get to 500 and before you know it, bye-bye Barry!

Enjoy the weekend!

The Lady

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